For those that know me growing up, I was able to sleep through anything. The night of my grandfather's passing (in another state) he woke me with his pipe smoke at the time of his passing. He even had to wake me a second time to make sure I gave my mother his message. Now, here was the catch. My mother and I never spoke of what I had the ability to "see". Even more distressing, "How does a child tell her mother that her no longer living father has a very important message for her?" Since I promised him would tell her, I had to figure out a way. I'll tell you now that it took me five years to deliver grandpa's message. The message was exactly what she needed to hear most from him and I had no way of knowing.
Why do I share this? For those of you that sit in silence and are too afraid to break that silence. There comes a time when you know in your heart that you have to put your own feelings aside. Yes, you will be hurt from time to time. However, you will suffer even more by sitting in silence.
In the end for me, there was a new bond formed between my mother and I. I was able to share things I saw as a child about her family. She later showed me pictures that I had never seen. One of the ladies I thought was a stranger growing up, was actually an aunt that was very close to my mother.
To this day I can still smell my grandfather's pipe smoke. Mom knows he is around when she smells it now. I've been visited by other relatives at the time of passing, but never jarred awake for the purpose of giving anybody a message. It's easy to relate to stranger's that have passed. However, when it's family asking for help it is so very much more difficult.
Out of this, I was forced to open up. I had not told anybody to what extent I saw dead people until then. After that I began work as a paramedic. I new what equipment to grab because I saw the victims and the injuries before we got to the scenes. Perhaps grandpa was preparing me?
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